Have you ever had a defining moment in your friendship when you realize those you thought you could rely on the most, entrust the most, confide in the most really were just going through the motions not really listening, absorbing or supporting but instead just lingering about behind a mask of friendship?
When things get hard or ugly, are your friends truly there? Do they listen to your thoughts, formulate their own opinions based on how well they know you as a person or do they simply sit idly by and jump on the ship hatred and dismissal without as much as a nod or question or explanation?
It's moments like this that define who a person is. It's moments like this that make you re-evaluate your judgment. You become more guarded when developing new friendships yet at the same time it forces you to hold tight And appreciate the few true lasting non-judgmental friendships that remain.
It's those who chose to remember all of the good, all of the support, love and encouragement that had been given through the years without ever asking for anything in return. The selfless acts of friendship extended throughout time that are representative of true friendship. That acts then went unwarranted and unasked for yet you still felt compelled to step forward, speak up and do something to show your camaraderie and silent support in times when they are tough. That is a true friend.
An acquiantance can appear through the disguise of friendship. When shit hits the fan, are they at least respectful enough to say "hey what's going on?". Do they reach out and say " things may be hard right now but with the love and support you have given me, my friend, over the years we can work through and overcome" as friends would do. A true friend would wholeheartedly do the afore mentioned. An acquaintance doesn't pick up the phone to hear for themselves, an acquiantance doesn't shoot an email or text expressing their hurt or concern, an acquaintance simply sits idly by allowing you to hurt, allowing others to defame, attack, verbally beat you down all while either joining in on the mass assault or even worse says nothing at all.
That person is someone who was never a friend to begin with if they can dismiss you like yesterday's garbage without a second thought.
True friends are those who reach out and formulate their thoughts, lend support even if it still means in the end they feel it's best to severe ties with said friendship. The fact is, in all the ugly they loved you enough to tell you personally that they need to step back. They were grateful for all you had given of yourself that they cared enough to respect the need for closure. That is a friend that has deepened a ridge across your heart and your memory so while they aren't present in your physical life, they are forever in your heart in memory of the wonderful moments that your friendship carried through the years.
That acquaintance who turned a blind eye, threw away years of laughs, years of joy, years of tears all in a moment to join the mob hysteria ends up being like a ship passing in the night. Barely a memory because in time it all fades.
Eventually as dust settles and integrity returns to the soul, what's done can't be undone so hopefully the acquiantance can sleep at night feeling as if they did everything they could or at least for the better of themselves.
As for me, I'm a ride or die kind of friend. Unless something was physically done to me, I'll stand by my friends because everyone needs someone in their corner. Those who fail to see that and thrive on the pain of others or take joy in ripping them to shreds only act that way because they are lacking something in their lives. Insecure about their place in the friendships or ungrateful for all the support they received.
Witch hunts happen out of fear and the need to set an example. The actions taken by those who participate in that hunt are far more viscous, hate worthy and despicable than the crime the witch is being convicted of....... Without a fair trial.
Oh and lastly, just an FYI....grieving. People grieve differently. Some get drunk, some stay home quiet, some write, some try and stay busy. In the end if there is nothing you can do about it you can't just sit home and shrivel up and claim defeat. You pull yourself up by your big girl panties and move on. You have a life to live and by sitting home wollowing in self pity you just continue to concede. Instead take the lemons and limes that life handed you and make some kick ass Margaritas and toast life for taking out the things in your life that clearly you had ZERO need for.
ETA: Giggling inside.......just giggling..I <3 trackers
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